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October 27th, 2006

Happiness and sorrow

I feel guilty to find happiness.
For one, what have I done to deserve it?
Second, what about all those around me who are struggling or facing pain?

And what do I do with all this love? Sometimes I just want to hug someone. Yet, I am lucky to even chat with a friend for a few scattered minutes any given day. When I can finally help someone or thank them, I feel so grateful.

Color dreams

I have been having an odd series of dreams... Each one has a different emphasized color. When I dream, I don't usually remember color or concrete details.
Lately, though, I have had three dreams, each of which had one object which was of a different and *vibrant* color, standing out from the rest of the dreamscape. And, what's more, they seem to be following the color spectrum. They are not nightmares, but they are not pleasant, either. Each one has it's own sense of disturbance.
I wonder if this means anything? It is so vivid and so strange. Has anyone heard of this before?

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