May 12th, 2007


Daily Bread - I Kings 8:58

Daily Bread - Individual

לְהַטּוֹת לְבָבֵנוּ, אֵלָיו
"...that He may incline our hearts unto Him..."

This little piece of a verse strikes me.
You see, no man loves God naturally on his own. The reason we love Him is that He first loved us. And even when we want to seek Him, we find it hard. Learning to walk by faith and not by sight does not happen automatically. God had to train Abraham over twenty years in the foreign land before Abraham's faith could be purified. This Christian walk is not about becoming a better person, it's about coming to know God. (Notice I didn't say know about God.) It's still such a strange and interesting and wonderful thing to me!
That is why I keep saying this prayer -- may God incline my heart to seek Him and not to turn another way. This winter, I saw that I could not raise my voice with David's and say that my soul longed for God like a dry and thirsty land. I didn't feel as though it did. But I wanted it to. I am coming closer to God.

Oh, but I am so curious where this training will lead me. What will He have me do? My heart is so curious and so impatient. I've been waiting for word from a library about a job and tangling with other questions - it all leaves me so full of thoughts. I suppose I can be impatient like Job, as long as I persevere and do not forsake God... Yet, I can't help but feel that I have waited too long and wasted too much time.

I will admit something. I have this perception that once I get a job or find a place to fit myself into this big world scheme, that everything will be worked out. It seems that all transient troubles and worries will dock at port and find rest. I don't think I can have such an idealistic view of life, though. I cannot forget that life is a series of changes -- or a series of miracles, someone once told me :) (At least, I think it went something like that...) So rather than wait for some end to this roller coaster, I suppose I should sit back and enjoy the ride, not expecting it to come to a stop any time soon^^
You know, that is not easy, though.
Nobody ever likes it when their answer is another question.

יְהִי יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ עִמָּנוּ, כַּאֲשֶׁר הָיָה עִם-אֲבֹתֵינוּ: אַל-יַעַזְבֵנוּ, וְאַל-יִטְּשֵׁנוּ
לְהַטּוֹת לְבָבֵנוּ, אֵלָיו--לָלֶכֶת בְּכָל-דְּרָכָיו, וְלִשְׁמֹר מִצְו‍ֹתָיו וְחֻקָּיו וּמִשְׁפָּטָיו, אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה, אֶת-אֲבֹתֵינוּ

"The LORD our God be with us, as He was with our fathers; let Him not leave us, nor forsake us;
that He may incline our hearts unto Him, to walk in all His ways, and to keep His commandments, and His statutes, and His ordinances, which He commanded our fathers."

This is how that passage looks in context. The way God can incline our hearts to Him is not by our own power, but by His very presence. When He is with us, He can draw us closer to Himself. What an amazing prayer!! King Solomon asks that God may be with them, always with them, so God Himself might be the one to teach them how to fulfill the Great Commandment. May God do so with me, and with you, if you desire it^^

One Word: Incline our hearts to You

Final papers, thunderstorms, blah

My day can be summed up as follows:

-When I was finishing up the last of my paper before citations at 9:00pm, I reread the instructions and found...that I need to cite the course material at least five times. I also saw that the page requirement was 8-10, not the 5-10 it said elsewhere in the course material. ...Mmmm.

-My room is disgustingly dusty. Where does all this dust come from?! I really, really need to sweep and dust, but I can't do that until I can stack my books and clear the floor. This will not happen for another week. In the meantime, I will just have to pretend it doesn't bother me. >.>!

-In between lightning strikes and flickering lights, I did manage to get a shower! Yay!

-My thoughts are meandering more -- as is usual for finals week when I study too much. Except, as I told someone the other day, this entire semester has felt like finals week. When it is done...I will jump up and down on my bed XD No, really :p

-What day of the week is it, again? Wait, what month is it? It's April, right?

-By the way, this opportunity makes me jealous! Look at the gorgeous brigantines!