This is something I found last night by chance. I had forgotten that I wrote this. I almost forgot the context in which it was constructed.
Ah, and look. And old email is attached at the end.
Why is it all coming back to me now? Why are my thoughts so weighed down? Is it just me or...
With no right to mourn
I lay awake, night glowings
seep in under shades
I carry selfish hobbies
But never so close as this
I could do nothing
Before, and nothing more now
How are the others
spending so quiet a night
Crickets singsong awkwardly
A small karmic tie
ribbon now flung to the winds
what remains for me
but to work tirelessly
until I speak that language
...For dust you are, and to dust you shall return
We all die and return to dust. However, when we are born, we are not shaped out of the dirt of the ground, but in the womb. So, it is from the first dust that we all still come - from Adam. We are all descendants of Adam.
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Lately, I have been feeling torn. I never felt that serving God was a troubling thing, but lately I have been feeling like it is demanding.
Well, tonight, in Bible study the pastor described the training of the Green Berets and how it prepares them to survive in any situation. The illustration sparked a kind of stubbornness inside me that I do want to put in effort and work hard so I can build that kind of character and achieve something! May my view change from seeing trials as a pain to seeing them as a refining fire to purify this gold!
I Corinthians 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Continuing the previous thought, I am trying to live with this verse actively on my mind. I need to live intentionally, and not just let time carry me on the current. When I eat, I pray and consider the words. "Thank Him for our food." Food I did not grow. Food, perhaps, I did not even purchase myself. Food that can nourish my body. When I read the Bible, I am reading the words of God. What an honor! Ages ago, people would have given anything to read God's word in their own language. Some still do today.
I need to live in awareness.
How sweet are Your words to my taste, Sweeter than honey to my mouth!
How sweet and wonderful is the Bible! :) Reading it is truly a pleasure. It is the book of all books. It can also be revealing and challenging, encouraging and reassuring, shocking and intriguing.
Sometimes I just want to stand on the rocks of the miniature Niagara Falls here behind my building and yell out to everyone - COME WITH ME! Let's read God's word! :D
And even if I do not shout it to the masses, there is one person I would like to ask. One person I can't get off my mind.
Maybe someday I will ask.
But if I do, I wonder what you will say.