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July 20th, 2007

Packing, preparing

All the clothes and accessories that I need to pack for next week's conferences are strewn across my bed. There is one last load of towels in the dryer, so I will add these when I am done. I can't believe that this all starts on Sunday, the day after tomorrow!

In addition to packing items, I need to finish the writing of my life testimony. It has gone through a draft or two and is on it's way :) I am so excited!

While I am away, my parents will also be traveling for koinonia and pleasure. I am excited for them :D Yay! I just wonder what trouble my brother will get into having the whole house to himself... Don't shake the foundations with the IDM!

After this semester and week, I am exhausted. I did take a nap earlier, but I had crazy dreams about flame wars. Maybe I need another nap...

Tonight I will be going to a graduation party and then prayer meeting - which should be lots of fun^^ They are going to have all kinds of good food and I am excited to hear the message :)

Tomorrow I will be going into DC. I need to study the metro map and get myself oriented sometime today. I hate that initial feeling of "I have no idea how this system works" when you go to a new country or ride a new subway :p But once I learn the ropes, it will be fine.

These days are busy - almost too busy.
I am so exhausted, but so content!

False verses true

False Wisdom: when knowledge does not add up, is forgotten, leads nowhere, is empty and shallow
False Fellowship: when friends spend time together but do not come closer to one another
False Learning: when backsliding outweighs forward progress

True Wisdom: knowledge that builds toward understanding
True Fellowship: sharing and growing together, knowing one another, supporting one another
True Learning: progress

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The work of God

You know, some parts of Scripture leave me feeling uneasy because I feel they are tough and challenging. But tonight, when I heard the challenge "You give them something to eat" (Mark 6:37) and saw how that God's work requires sacrificial love, my reaction was completely different. Rather than feel defensive or weak, I was very excited!

I really want to do God's work and fulfill a purpose beyond my own seeking. I love to devote myself fully to a project and by nature I work and stress very hard over these things. In my soul, I feel I am ready to devote myself to hard work for a good purpose. I am ready! Send me!

Listening to the testimony tonight, I was very encouraged. When she sought God, He made a way. He gave her a scholarship to study in America (she is from China) and then led her to here. Though she had a job offer to work in DC, she decided to instead complete her doctorate degree, as God had set her on that path. Now, 11 years later, she has completed her 700 page thesis and is a doctor! She gives all the glory to God, for she was overwhelmed with the work, yet somehow succeeded. Now, a job has been prepared for her where she will work very hard to teach and share the Good News. It is so exciting! God does really lead people in clear ways - I need only to seek His will. I need faith. Because prayers and seeking without faith is not pleasing to God and such a person is like a wave tossed by the sea (James 1:6).

I am not a shepherdess yet, but... I want to be!

Still, I have a lot of time to make up for, a lot of truth to take in, a lot to learn about this One I call upon as God. I need to learn to have an ongoing dialog with Him, praying at all times. I want to build this relationship. I know He knows and loves me - now I want to know and love Him. Also, I want to serve others! I want to live a life free from the prison of selfish thoughts where I can be attentive to the needs of others and helpful, a blessing to them. I want all of things things to be fulfilled in my life. I want to live as light and salt.

I want to work.

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