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October 12th, 2007

The challenge was lack

It sounds like I will soon have the opportunity to work on a new web project for UBF. I am really excited about the work! It inspired me to finish off my own website and upload it today.

I realized something as I was working this morning.
I have been struggling a lot lately not so much because I fear graduating, but because I felt helpless and useless in my contributions. I enjoy working hard and look forward to the fulfillment of Romans 6:13, that God will use me as an "instrument of righteousness." Yet, as I began to think about my "role" this semester, I became burdened. It seemed that I had no way to contribute and no work to do. Though I am one of the team, I felt as though I had nothing to give in return. Every part of the body contributes to the function of the whole - yet I felt that I had no function and was thus a vain member. I could not see where I fit into the Church, the body of Christ (Rom 12:5, 1 Cr 12:12). It made my heart heavy. And as I tried to fit myself into different molds, I felt pressure on all sides.

Looking back on ways I could help in the past, though, I am seeing hope. Perhaps there is an open door on the path of web development. I have made a few sites in the past and now have the opportunity to make more and increase my skills. Perhaps this is my path. I have a goal now and feel as though I can finally get to work doing my function. It is very exciting!

In other news, I keep changing my journal layout. This is not on purpose. I just keep seeing fun layouts that I want to try. I think I will be sticking with this 'Art Deco' one for a while, though, because I just love the shade of purple.

Error: brain cache full

These days I feel there is so much on my mind and I just need to time to organize it all.

-ideas for research and writing
-observations to record and expound upon
-passages from Scripture that I want to explore
-dreams I need to review and index
-people I want to contact
-prayer requests that I need to bring before God
-activities I want to do when I get the time
-codes I want to learn
-music I want to look up the lyrics for
-daily chores and meetings
-homework and course material
-other stuff

My brain just does not have a big enough cache.
Or, at least, I need more time to rework the cognitive network of my memory so I can store all this for later.

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