February 2nd, 2008

Jehoshabeath

Expression

There is something about writing that bothers me.
I feel almost restricted by it.
In my mind, I have an image, full of tone, color, and composition, but I cannot express it through words alone. I could try, but I would need to use the vehicle of poetry rather than prose. A still image, on the other hand, cannot clearly depict a complete tale. This leaves me stuck in the middle. In my mind I have scenes, stories, and frames, but I have no medium through which to express these as a coherent work. If I choose to use prose as my tool, I loose the spirit of the music and the form of the line. If I choose art, I cannot express my character's daily rhythms and conversations.

I think I have been struggling with this dilemma for a while. I am constantly seeking out new means of expression: Morse code, Braille, sumi-e, haiga, film, manga, foreign language, kanji, painting, calligraphy, cuneiform, Quenya... Lately I have found that film is one of my favorites, since it can carry so much meaning in both moving pictures and stills. But I don't have the equipment to make a film!

Well, I tinker and toy with each of these means of expression, yet none seems to satisfy my need for expression fully. I have only found one thing that actually satisfies me - that satisfies this longing deeply buried in my soul. I wasn't looking for it when I stumbled upon it, though. In Scripture I expected to find a rule-book, but instead I have found a wellspring of insight, passages that are thrilling, beautiful, tragic, joyful, and revealing. It continues to teach me and inspire me. John 4:10.

In the meantime, I will continue to tinker and toy with forms of art and expression. God Himself loves to do the same, creating skies full of color and histories full of victories. But I will not rely on expressions to satisfy me. I'll leave that job to Scripture :)