April 15th, 2010

walk with God, pasture, Psalm 23

Reflection on springs of living water

Ah, I'm so happy that I could cry.

I'm reflecting on some wonderful times of spiritual feasting.

In January 2007, I sat cross-legged on the lower bunk of a cozy wooden bunk-bed. I was reading about the dedication of the temple in the book of I Kings and I cannot think of a time when I read the Bible as contentedly as I did that evening. I had the cabin all to myself, sitting on the bunk farthest to the back of the cabin. The light above the sinks filtered in across the bunk and the thin pages of the new leather Bible felt like wings to my fingers as I turned them. As my eyes followed the text, I found new treasures that I had never seen before. My heart snagged them and claimed them as my own: "May the LORD our God be with us...that He may incline our hearts to Himself, to walk in all His ways..." I Kings 8:57-58 Dear King Solomon, Jedidiah (2 Samuel 12:24-25), may you help me to see the One, True God!

In the morning, I sat in the dining hall at an empty table, Bible opened wide before me to the book of a prophet: "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

I wanted to love God as the Psalmists did (Psalm 143:6) and as King Josiah did (2 Kings 23:25), but I simply didn't feel that way... I began to taste the joy of the Word that weekend, though, and after eating up a healthy portion of His Word, I was hungry for more.

In April 2007, I sat in a pile of cushions in the meeting hall, searching, troubled. Why did Jesus have to suffer? Why did it have to be so awful? Why? Did it really have to be that horrific? I don't remember why, but I turned to Nehemiah: "Then he said to them, 'Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.'" Nehemiah 8:10

The same day, my secret helper gave me a verse which struck me to the heart "piercing even to the division of soul and spirit": "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20 He died to pay the debt for my sins and my sins were really that awful in God's sight! But the debt is paid, Christ is risen, He is forever glorified, and I am forever saved. He was willing to die for me in obedience to the Father. When we parted at the end of that conference, I cried through the song Jesus loves me. God really does love me and He gave His Son to suffer in my place.

John 6:51
"I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world."
Matt and me in jerseys

Sour turned sweet

This evening, I was all ready to sit down and soak in the first playoff game between the Caps and the Habs. I did consider forfeiting my right to watch the game in order to pray, but since I've been recovering from illness, I thought that I should instead take it easy and enjoy the game. I don't give myself many pleasures in the day anyhow, so this would be good for me. Yep, yep. I'd read some on the side, too, maybe.

I switched on the TV and...jaw-drop...what do you mean I need a digital converter device in order to watch my cable channels? Is this the right channe...uhhh...all channels say the same thing. *Stares angrily at the TV screen in disbelief*

First thought:
WHAT? Are you kidding?!

Second thought:
You're not kidding x_x

Third thought:
How am I supposed to get a converter device? Grrr!! I guess I'll just have to go to the games at the Verizon Center.

Fourth thought:
Where's my phone? I have to call mom and whine about this. Waaa, I want to watch the gaaaaame! ;_;

Fifth thought:
Sometimes irritating things happen for a reason. I should not be so quick to assume that this is bad. I should thank God! Eh, but, I'm not happy. Want game. :[ Want Caps!

Sixth thought:
Thank you, Lord...I think...even though it hurts to think this way. No, I don't want to thank God. I've been sick and I just want to kick back and watch a good, old fashioned hockey game tonight! Boo hiss.

Seventh thought:
But He said that those who do not take up their crosses are not worthy of Him. I was wondering how I could practically sacrifice for God. So let me try this again. Thank you, Lord, for putting my cable out of commission so I can seek You tonight instead of watching a game of hockey on TV. Ouch, that hurts :( I am disappointed. But I am determined to have a good evening in God's Word.

And I did! I read some of Carson's Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus and enjoyed sweet reflection on Bible conferences that I attended in 2007. I followed the game score online and in the end, my team lost; so all in all, it was a blessed evening here on the Hill :)