June 27th, 2010

The heavens declare

This weak flesh

Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.

It's incredible how weak the body is. In February, after shoveling a snow path for a few hours during the blizzard, I spent the following week sick with a cold. My muscles ached, I was so weak that I could hardly get off the couch, and I went through countless tissues and mugs of tea. Yesterday I spent the afternoon outside, and that evening I was struck with heat sickness. I guess my flesh is not accustomed to being outside in the sun because when I get home, I found that my body temperature was very high, my head ached, my stomach threatened to act against me, and the tissue throughout my body felt simultaneously dull and crystallized. I didn't wake up in pain today, but I do feel like laying around and sticking close to home.

This all goes to show how fragile the human body is - or at least, how fragile my body is. While I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14), I am still just "dust and ashes" (Genesis 18:27). But praise be to God who will redeem both my soul and my body (Romans 8:23) and make me like Him on that day (1 John 3:2)! I trust the Creator who established the laws of physics, mathematics, ecology, and physiology. He fine-tuned the universe (Genesis 1) and sustains it (Col 1:17) even in its fallen state till the day when His children will be adopted and all things made new (Rev 21:5).

Field Day 2010

Since I wasn't up for a rigorous 24-hour Field Day operation this year, I joined a QRP (low power) operation in Virginia. We were running 4A, which means we had 4 stations on the air:

1. a CW/Phone station on 6 meters using a 3-element beam antenna
2. a CW station on 40 meters using a wire antenna and counterpoise strung up in an L-shape
3. a CW station on 20 meters using an inverted-V dipole antenna
4. a Phone station on 20 meters and other bands using a wire vertical antenna strung in the tree

I have some new friends who probably never heard me write about this type of thing before. So for them, let me provide a little background :) Collapse )
seated woman


I have an unhealthy tendency to overwhelm myself in interesting things.

When I find myself waiting with nothing to do, I can't sit still - I need to explore, to find, to entertain myself, to keep my mind in motion. I chase after new, curious things until I have my arms full and don't have time to set any single thing into place. Eventually, I abandon some things - others I try to keep juggling until they come crashing down. And in the end, I feel quite exhausted, stressed, and guilty for not having seen anything through to the end. But at the time, I feel that I just can't sit still doing nothing. It's like I'm mentally starving and need something to chew on.

I'm trying to figure out how to manage the interests that I have. That's easy enough to say now, but once I hit a lull where I have nothing to do, I am grasping, desperate for something to occupy the time. Either I need to find a way to look busy or else I need to keep myself working. I'm not sure if this is normal, or if I am grieving myself out of a need to be constantly mentally "busy."

Does anyone else have this problem?

At the moment, I'm listening to WN5V from Louisiana on my 40/20m wire, which I've restrung indoors in case we have a thunderstorm. I still get an S6 noise level, even though I would have expected it to be higher indoors. I would still like to become a good CW op, but CW is not really something that I can use to fill up my "down time" when I am on metro, breaks at work, or when I find myself in need of a temporary distraction. CW practice requires me to have some time here at home with either the laptop or my rig. The mandolin isn't really something that I can use to fill in the time cracks either, since I can't carry it wherever I go. Ditto for sailing, Hebrew, ship transcribing, etc.

Does anybody have any advice on how I should address this? Do I need to address the root of "needing to seem busy"? Or do I need to ration out my mental resources to a checklist of things? Any thoughts would be welcome :)