September 6th, 2012

john 10, sheep

Confused confessions and questions

A few weeks ago, I wrote: "I don't know what to do. I'm looking for the prism by which I can split the spectrum and clearly discern light from darkness, holy gifts from sinful tendencies, right from wrong."

I find a lot of confusion when I look within. I find it hard to discern sin from weakness. Sometimes, I'm too hard on myself, expecting too much. Other times, I'm too easy on myself because I know that I have a tendency to be too hard on myself. Uhh, what a confusing circle!

I'm on a campaign to discern the talents that the Lord has given me (and simultaneously, those talents which He chose to withhold from me). My Master has given and withheld in wisdom and kindness. He is the One to whom I am accountable (Romans 14). How would He have me use these talents? When does my ambition transgress into selfish ambition? How can I rest in Him in the midst of this ever-buzzing-motor-driven soul? I have so many questions... So I keep asking! He invites me to seek Him and to seek righteousness. So I'm taking a journey through the first book of Psalms and seeking assistance from those whom the Lord has gifted with counsel.

"Seek the LORD, all you meek of the earth, who have upheld His justice. Seek righteousness, seek humility. It may be that you will be hidden in the day of the LORD's anger." Zephaniah 2:3