February 9th, 2015

Psalm 22

Processing Monday 2

Haven't been able to sleep well for a while. Ugh. So it took me a while to get started this morning. And I've been having weird dreams...some good, others bad.

The other night, I dug out my Messianic necklaces :) Today I decided to wear the one based on Numbers 24:17. It has a shield of David pendant and is threaded with small silver, black, and crystal beads.

Read more 1 and 2 Samuel yesterday. I'm struck by how often David inquires of the Lord and how often the Lord answers him. Underlined those parts. Got as far as the prophecy in chapter 7 - wow, how awesome! In addition to reading, studied some Hebrew vocabulary and drew a sketch of Asahel running in pursuit of Abner. Wish I'd kept up with learning Hebrew - I'd know a lot of vocab by now! Actually, the vocab isn't the problem - it's the grammar and the ways that the vowels change around as grammar changes...

Speaking of the OT, was reviewing Nahum the other night. I had memorized the books of Nahum, Habakkuk, Jonah, chapter 1 of Zephaniah, and the first two and a half chapters of Nehemiah. It made me sad that I quit but I got so busy and overwhelmed and stressed. But I remember my goal...of memorizing all of the Book of the Twelve (תרי עשר) - all 12 of the minor prophets. I still like that goal. Maybe someday. I was comforted by the fact that Nahum (his name means comfort!) rang so familiar with me as I read it. It also gave me comfort in a day of so much violence and evil. God has not forgotten. I don't want to be like the people who said in their hearts that God will not do good, nor will He do evil. He surely will remember and set all things right. His King is waiting...

Got two lego Star Wars figures in the mail :3 An imperial navy trooper and a rebel trooper from the opening scene of the original movie. Pew pew! I want to wear my navy trooper outfit and helmet and run around :D Need to check and see if there's a group near here who does that..haven't gotten around to that yet. I still need to finish my costume, too.

Been drinking coffee in the morning. Mm, yum. And Mom got me a donut today :D

Can't keep up with my own curiosities. Whew. Or I feel like when I finally catch up with them, I wish I hadn't - like Asahel. I was fiddling with my keyring today and saw my Gamestop card. For a while, I had the urge to work there. Probably a good thing I didn't because now I'm not chasing down Pokemon, I'm chasing down history. But Pokemon will cycle back through my life again. My interests always do. Well, they usually do. More often than not.

Thought about Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis today. Not sure why. Maybe the A-wing and Commander Farrell reminded me of old PC games? Anyway, I was thinking about all the colors and cultures of the Atlantis game...it filled my mind with such flavors: stone discs echoing the skies, golden beads of orichalcum, canals and city rings, lava and ocean exploration, colorful Greek frescoes and the labyrinth of Crete. Spanish and Portuguese explorers and Star Wars filled in the landscape of my childhood imagination.

I was pondering the other night - why is it that I relate so readily to ancient things while I struggle to maintain my presence in daily life? I escape to these other things - but... how can I love the people right in front of me? Why is it so hard to live in the present? Why is language safe and present reality so hard? Ack, the same old questions. Why does it take mammoth efforts to focus on the present while I can slip into obsessive research of the past? Why have I been avoiding Facebook and need to work up the courage to simply do a simple task on my to do list? Ugh. I know why and it's not that I wish that it was different. I just get frustrated. I'm perfectly content to hide with Saul in the armor pile and smile at him, but I can't make myself excited about the things going on right around me. Sometimes I wish I could retreat to the Telegraph Tent and transcribe some cuneiform tablets. (Speaking of tablets, I was surprised and excited to read about how Abner and David made a covenant - it's an example of a historical covenant! This is what God was doing when he "made a covenant" - though the details of God's covenants (Genesis 9 and 15 for example) were different than this particular one. Plus, this one between David and Abner didn't last long...poor Abner! It would be so amazing to see the Pool of Gibeon someday. It's a deep, large pool cut into the limestone earth with a winding staircase down to the bottom. So cool! Maybe I could check out the tomb of Abner, too - it's still there in Hebron, from what I hear. Oh, and did you know that Saul's hometown of Gibeah was also the site of that awful story at the end of the book of Judges? eeee... That makes me not like Saul as much :\ Gibeon and Gibeah both mean "hill" and they're only a few miles apart, very close to Jerusalem.)

More applications have been submitted and I've been working to train the new analyst in DC. It's keeping me busy through the week. At least work is done for today!