September 3rd, 2020

talk with God

Calling

I need study.

It's just something that God has placed on my heart. While others are called to careers or families, I'm called to a life of study. I've always known that, but I didn't think it could be, since of course, people are supposed to have goals toward work that they love or raising children or leading social organizations or such things.

Ok, this has been hard. Really hard. Because, how does a Student fit herself into social spheres or even the Body of Christ in the Church? If I study, I naturally would become a teacher. But women are specifically commanded not to serve in this way in God's family. I'll accept that. But, then I wonder, how do I serve the Body of Christ? In what capacity? If not as teacher, then... do I just study for myself? That feels selfish and unproductive.

What kind of role would God call me to as a Student if not a teacher? What else is there? I can study all sorts of things on my own, but, am I not called to share them?


I'm called to the Sciences. Naturalist. Animals. Rocks. Herbs. Aromatherapy. History. Ancient Language. Names. Stars. History. Judaism. Christianity. Creation. Flood. The dispersal of the Nations. Babylonian.

So how can I pursue this righteously?

How can I make time and space for the pursuit?
How can I help others through them?

Heavy topics, meaning-filled topics, holy topics.

What does one do with such an intense, driven, confused girl? haha Who doesn't grasp who she is, what her calling is, how to pursue it, how to manifest it, how to honor it. *sigh*