Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Stuck in a moment

It isn't really a moment as much as a time. A three hour long period of time. I hate labs. Again, a perfectly good pig was hacked into because I wsn't shown how to properly dissect it. I am all for cutting up the fetal pig in the name of knowledge, but if I am doing it in vain and wasting my time - in other words - I wish I were just LEARNING something!! It ticks me off. I have been in a state of shock or something since 10 pm..I can't pull myself out of this feeling of helplessness and guilt and screw-up-ness. Grr. I hate this feeling. I hate lab. It makes me feel dumb and insignificant and hopeless. I came home and have been submerging myself in the unconscious world of my Aestalian stuff. I can hide there and be dead for a time - not dead in life, but to this feeling of failure. I am going to go learn html now so I can pretend to make a website! That sounds like something creative I can do!! ^_^ I want to draw and scan and icon-make and write stries and organize old stories and do all that art stuff!!!! Off I go! Whee!!

I am starting to feel better at last!
Tags: art, daydreams, depression, ineffective, stories

  • The Promise of the Holy Spirit

    Wow, this is exciting! :) I was reading from the Scriptures this evening, and stumbled on this verse: "And behold, I send the promise of my Father…

  • Delight

    One of the things I've been wrestling with this year is harshness toward myself. I struggle to accept God's love for me. I feel like I will only ever…

  • A little light of beauty

    I forgot how much I love this album... (tears) Oraanu / Cartographer by ES Posthumus I used to listen to this music while I wrote descriptive…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.