Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

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I thought I could study...

All right, it is self-examination time!
As I sit here I am really frustrated and perturbed. It is not fun. I hate feeling this way. When other people act this way, I get really uncomfortable and feel threatened; so right now I feel threatened by myself! Let's get to the root of this big ugly weed-problem.

What did I do today? Study. Well, I studied a little. I kept getting distracted by the internet, by email I needed to write, by chocolate I wanted to munch on... So where did it all begin? I woke up at about 10:00 and decided that I should eat and start on the ambiguous pool of homework I needed to complete. I decided that I was too busy to pray or even make my bed. I decided I would be more motivated if I kept my mind as clear and laid back as possible. I thought in the back of my mind that God wouldn't really want to help out this practical little issue of homework. I am a good enough student that I can take care of this myself and get plenty accomplished. That's not a very good attitude to have, I discovered...

I spent the entire day being distracted and only got a small amount of homework done. It is really quite pathetic, not to mention disappointing.

So, how was it that a few weeks ago I read through 500 pages of my management textbook in one day? (That is no exaggeration, by the way. O.o;) Well, it may sound silly, but I prayed about it. I prayed a lot about it.

(While silly to men, it is wisdom, though, as 1 Corinthians 1:20 tells me!)

People have been talking lately about how faith and grace get their meaning in relying on the power of God. One can learn about these things best when they are helpless themselves to do anything but trust. Looking back, I had a very selfish attitude today. I thought I would be able to get massive amounts of homework done and I didn't even get the readings done for a single one of my classes. I suppose I can see just how faulty I am. I am felled by the tiny enemy known as distraction! How sad that the whole day went to waste and now I am left feeling like this.
At least every day is new. Maybe I can be a Daniel tomorrow through faith and humility! ^___^

Daniel 1:17 - "As for these four young men, God gave them knowledge and skill in all literature and wisdom."
Tags: daniel, prayer, schoolwork

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