Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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Tired, thankful, busy

At times I am so full that I can't feel anything. Or I am so deep that I don't notice where I am. Do you ever have the sensation when you can't tell if you hand is palm up or down without twisting it to confirm?

In 2005, I started a sort of journal on my geocities webpage. Many of those entries talk about being so thankful that I couldn't contain it. Why is it that these days I cannot feel that with the same intensity? Shouldn't it be reversed?

Perhaps I am doing too much? :p

Technically I am a graduate student. I am undergoing training for a professional career. Not only that, but I am on the "fast-track" to graduate in a year and a half by attending every possible term, winters and summers included. People gaped when they heard I was taking a three-week long 3-credit course in January. That's a piece of cake compared to this semester - two classes with the hardest professor in this particular school AND a class in Java GUIs. I don't have a background in any programming language, object-oriented or no. Talk about intense study. By now I am rather used to the challenging life of a student, though. I have been doing this for as long as I can remember and soon it will be done!

Really, though, this period is what some call Wilderness Training! I am studying the Bible like never before. For church at home, reading through the Bible in two-years (we are up to I Chronicles, which is currently a struggle of its own). Also, one-on-one Bible study on the Gospel of John, group Bible study on the Book of Daniel, Sunday messages on the Book of Luke, and personal devotionals on Jeremiah 2:13, faith, and other topics. This doesn't include the web projects I am in the middle of for Bible history. Believe me, I have a long way to go, but it is quite a challenge for me these days.

In all simplicity, I am probably just tired. That might explain why I feel sort of sort of 'shallow' emotionally. Maybe once I give myself time for all of this to sink in, I will comprehend it... I wish I could divvy out my homework for other people to do, like Moses!

No worries, though! I will have victory over the school-life! Before I know it, I'll be graduating and then I will look back nostalgically on these days... Well, maybe :p

And where all this is leading, I am still to find out! Can I dare to think that there will be better days ahead when right now I am having far too much fun reading about the United Kingdom of Israel, listening to Holst's the Planets, and dining on fine tootsie rolls?

I am almost afraid to know how great life could be because I am already too full on the goodness I have received! ^__^ (Even if I am currently a bit too stuffed to feel much...)
Tags: bible study, courses, path
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