Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

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I am tired of the school life. Where I study and study, devoting my all to a vision that vanishes within a few passes of the moon. Some say I should not devote so much to my semester classes, but I cannot help it. I cannot hold back my most sincere efforts. It's just the way I am.

I want to work hard and have it count for something more than a letter on a report. I want to bend my back into it, heave up the weight, and move mountains. I want my feet to have sores and my hands to be red with the work and sleep soundly through the night.

God has called me, and like Abraham, I come to the land. First I had to open my eyes and see it. Now I can come to know Him and pray for His will to be made clear as it was to our father Abraham. He has promised that He has Good Work for me, work that has been in His eye from before time began. Show me, Lord God. Speak, for your servant is listening. Make the way by opening doors that are right and closing doors that are not. Teach me to feed your lambs and continually fill me with Your Spirit so I might seek Your goodness above all the fading things of the world. You hold beauty, righteousness, and life both now and forever. Make me strong these days when I am so easily thrown into fear and remind me of Your presence.

While I cannot see God, I know He is.

Anyone who looks at my life can see that I have changed - and it is not a surface change. The God who made me is finally able to fulfill His work in me because I seek Him and accept Him. I am learning day by day, little by little. These are steps along the path, though it seems so often that I am standing still.

While I may not know what is in store for me tomorrow, I can sleep at night knowing that my name is not blotted out of the book of life. (Luke 10:20)
Tags: aspergers, hyperactivity, luke, path, responsibility, sanctification, work
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