I realized something as I was working this morning.
I have been struggling a lot lately not so much because I fear graduating, but because I felt helpless and useless in my contributions. I enjoy working hard and look forward to the fulfillment of Romans 6:13, that God will use me as an "instrument of righteousness." Yet, as I began to think about my "role" this semester, I became burdened. It seemed that I had no way to contribute and no work to do. Though I am one of the team, I felt as though I had nothing to give in return. Every part of the body contributes to the function of the whole - yet I felt that I had no function and was thus a vain member. I could not see where I fit into the Church, the body of Christ (Rom 12:5, 1 Cr 12:12). It made my heart heavy. And as I tried to fit myself into different molds, I felt pressure on all sides.
Looking back on ways I could help in the past, though, I am seeing hope. Perhaps there is an open door on the path of web development. I have made a few sites in the past and now have the opportunity to make more and increase my skills. Perhaps this is my path. I have a goal now and feel as though I can finally get to work doing my function. It is very exciting!
In other news, I keep changing my journal layout. This is not on purpose. I just keep seeing fun layouts that I want to try. I think I will be sticking with this 'Art Deco' one for a while, though, because I just love the shade of purple.