Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

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Reflection -> outlook

Setting: In Croatia (Mid-Southern Europe between Italy and Greece) there is a coastal city called Split. It was once Roman, and the old (like 300 A.D.) city walls and buildings still stand. There are four gates: Gold, Silver, Iron, and Bronze(?). In the center, there is a tall stone tower. When one climbs it, they can look out on the new city built up around the old as well as the Adriatic Sea in her glory.
Climbing those stairs, one finds windows carved out of the rock every few feet until they are all around you. Climbing it, you can only barely see the red rooftops of buildings, the tip of the waters. You can't wait to reach the top where you have a final view clearly surrounding you 180 degrees. Every window lets a little more of the picture through, like a puzzle peice is added. By the end, the puzzle is finished, and the view whole. The journey to the top is the best part. Each window is like a breath of fresh air and a taste of the total image. You wait expectantly for each glimpse..hopeful. Then when you get to the top, you have already experienced peices, so the whole is not as overwhelming in many cases. It is special, but the journey is over and it is rather sad. I live for those windows - peices of a whole that build up my hopes and obsessions. That is what glues me until the end. But the end of interests for me so often seem to fizzle out. The ones that don't are splendorous. The sea and city and gulls all going about their business is beautiful. It makes an impression. But time not only heals some wounds, but also wipes clean many feelings/memories/moments. Cameras cannot bring the smell of the salt, the overcrowded space, the cloudless is atmosphere which drives me. And especially those which foster obsession.
Conclusion: The journey is the fun enticing part, and the end is the glorious and nostalgic snapshot moment to be proud and sad and joyful all at once. Life is hard even in it's best moments. Being human is not easy, but the challenges and the complexity give it color and beauty.
(Now I sounds like Treize Kushrenada!!)
Tags: art, aspergers, life

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