Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

My head is full O.o

Full of thoughts and yet not studying...

I was up late last night with so many thoughts running through my mind. I knew I should be anxious about work but my mind was purposefully avoiding the subect. Instead, I was trying to organize my obsessions. Each one seems to correspond with a certain period of my life which also corresponds to a certain type of music or cd...But I have never integrated them all in a way that I can melt them all together. So I get confused when my mind skips from one to the next very quickly and compares in adn out between them.

Then today I was going from one activity to another all day like a computer ping ping ping. I had to wrap antique Christmas ornaments first, then organize paperwork and financial things for the museum. When I came home I dug out my tapes on the JFK ssassination and checked out the Oswald episode to satisfy my curiosity after that dream last night. Then I drew a bit and helped my bro on his assignment. My mind has not had a chance to relax lately. It is working as if I were at school!!

So I just feel left in a state of confusion.

It;s as if my mind has burnt out.

I need M&C...but I puzzled oer how to get it last night and it seems as if all my options are dead ends and none will work! ;_; I like a good challenge but I dont think I can do anything but wait. Waiting stinks. lol

"You know Marcus - he got lost in his own museum.." I think I am getting lost in my own mind O.o

And my mind is like muddy water right now...I either need to revive an obsession, get focused on a book, or find a guy! lol But of course we know Megan has no chance at the last so I guess I am stuck with books and daydreams!'s not like I neccessarily want a boyfriend..but I have the question: Why don't guys like me at all?! is saddening because I don't know the answer!! lol ^_^ I knwo that the reason I never sought them out was because I was too busy with the Silmarillion, Dune, and writing my book...^^ I was climbing the Platonic Ladder upside down!!
Tags: aromantic, aspergers, daydreams, drawing, family, fandom, fear, grounding, injury, interests, movies, order, overload, platonic ladder, squish, transitions

  • The Promise of the Holy Spirit

    Wow, this is exciting! :) I was reading from the Scriptures this evening, and stumbled on this verse: "And behold, I send the promise of my Father…

  • Delight

    One of the things I've been wrestling with this year is harshness toward myself. I struggle to accept God's love for me. I feel like I will only ever…

  • A little light of beauty

    I forgot how much I love this album... (tears) Oraanu / Cartographer by ES Posthumus I used to listen to this music while I wrote descriptive…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.