Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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My head is full O.o

Full of thoughts and yet not studying...

I was up late last night with so many thoughts running through my mind. I knew I should be anxious about work but my mind was purposefully avoiding the subect. Instead, I was trying to organize my obsessions. Each one seems to correspond with a certain period of my life which also corresponds to a certain type of music or cd...But I have never integrated them all in a way that I can melt them all together. So I get confused when my mind skips from one to the next very quickly and compares in adn out between them.

Then today I was going from one activity to another all day like a computer ping ping ping. I had to wrap antique Christmas ornaments first, then organize paperwork and financial things for the museum. When I came home I dug out my tapes on the JFK ssassination and checked out the Oswald episode to satisfy my curiosity after that dream last night. Then I drew a bit and helped my bro on his assignment. My mind has not had a chance to relax lately. It is working as if I were at school!!

So I just feel left in a state of confusion.

It;s as if my mind has burnt out.

I need M&C...but I puzzled oer how to get it last night and it seems as if all my options are dead ends and none will work! ;_; I like a good challenge but I dont think I can do anything but wait. Waiting stinks. lol

"You know Marcus - he got lost in his own museum.." I think I am getting lost in my own mind O.o

And my mind is like muddy water right now...I either need to revive an obsession, get focused on a book, or find a guy! lol But of course we know Megan has no chance at the last so I guess I am stuck with books and daydreams! ...it's not like I neccessarily want a boyfriend..but I have the question: Why don't guys like me at all?! hmm..it is saddening because I don't know the answer!! lol ^_^ I knwo that the reason I never sought them out was because I was too busy with the Silmarillion, Dune, and writing my book...^^ I was climbing the Platonic Ladder upside down!!
Tags: aromantic, aspergers, daydreams, drawing, family, fandom, fear, grounding, injury, interests, movies, order, overload, platonic ladder, squish, transition
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