Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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Curiosity, Perfectionism, Harmony

Yesterday I started listing some behaviors that reveal influential elements in my life. In the end, I found that there are three main motivating forces at work within me: curiosity, perfectionism, and harmony. In other words, I want to know thoroughly and do well within a pleasant environment. In some ways, these motivators are very good; but when they verge on the extreme, they lead to unhealthy habits.



Curiosity

-My parents tell me that when I started walking, I tried to take off down the street away from home without accompaniment.
-Years later, I got lost in the Kyoto hillside after a visit to the Semimaru-jinja.
-When I read about Helen Keller in elementary school, I used to close my eyes and wonder what it would be like to be blind. Last year, I met with an Orientation and Mobility instructor to receive some basic white cane traveling lessons in pursuit of a potential change of career.
-I'm not content to know about something - I need to know that thing itself inside and out. I need to handle, test, examine, and experience it for myself.
-Name dictionary consultations often lead to checking out stacks of books from the library.
-I've dabbled in a rather random array of languages over the years: French, Croatian, Japanese, Inuktitut.
-Purchasing a kepi Signal Corps insignia led me to operating an amateur radio station in my apartment.
-Primary sources are like the raw gemstones that one mines out of the earth.
-I love to listen to stories about the way things used to be. It's even better if we visit the old schoolhouse and farm.
-I often am filled with a sense of wonder when no particular questions come to mind.



Perfectionism

-I never "sketched" as a child. I always tried to draw the final line boldly from the first pencil stroke.
-I break 0.5 mm mechanical pencil lead quite often. When I was in elementary school, I broke off the tips of regular pencils while learning to write my alphabet.
-In Photoshop, it's not uncommon for me to reduce the size of the paintbrush to less than 5 pixels.
-I love microscopes.
-One of my projects in grad school ended up being about 9 times longer than anyone else's...I was embarrassed.
-I edit my emails multiple times as I compose them to ensure that they make sense and flow naturally.
-I throw myself completely into whatever it is that I am doing.
-I make a lot of excuses.
-I dislike "practice" because I feel uncomfortable with my current inadequacy.
-Accuracy, precision, completeness, and clarity are qualities that I value in my work.
-When I do a good job, I feel pleased with my work and relieved with regards to myself.
-I grow nervous easily.



Harmony (includes simplicity, organization, amiability, submission, and flexibility)

-When I was little, I used to line up all my Littlest Petshops and My Little Ponies on the piano.
-I've loved organized lists for as long as I can remember: birthstones, national flags, alphabets, character profiles, etc.
-I'm interested in data visualization.
-I feel better when my house is clean and organized.
-I take time in writing explanations to ensure that they are easy for others to understand. I enjoying helping others to learn and understand new things.
-I feel comfortable when the people around me are content.
-I will eat just about anything happily. I'm not extremely picky about food or clothing.
-One of my very favorite past-times is sitting together with my family and grandparents on their porch and peacefully talking until the fireflies danced in full-force amidst the cornstalks.
-I love to smile. I also love to laugh.
-Bitterness, sarcasm, pride, and disrespect stir up pain and tightness in my chest.
-I hate debates and confrontation.
-I would rather say nothing than ruffle feathers or get in the way.
-I thrive in structured situations. I'm a follower.
Tags: anxiety, aspergers, family, harmonize, intersts, me, order, passive, responsibility
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