Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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Godly CW ?

I've really been enjoying time with ham radio the past couple of weeks. My 20 wpm code copy is showing signs of improvement. In June, I was copying only pieces of words, but now I'm copying long phrases pretty consistently. (I'm getting tripped up over letters like s, z, h, and j.) Another sign of improvement is the fact that even when I get a little slowed up, I can often catch the next few letters. Before, I simply went blank and missed everything that followed. So code is going better and I'm having fun getting my gear in order and ready for action.

I've been a little thoughtful about it all, though. Back in 2008 when I was licensed, I leapt right in headfirst and chased after ham radio as if it were my life purpose. I distinctly remember reading Psalm 137:5 - "If I forget you, O Jerusalem, Let my right hand forget its skill!" My reaction was very tangled and torn. I did not like that verse. I knew that I must love the LORD above all else, but...CW was becoming very dear to me and so closely wrapped up with my identity that I couldn't imagine the possibility of giving it up. But the question remained strongly on my mind: "What would I do if the LORD demanded this hobby from me? Would I give it up if He asked me to do so?" I felt very uncomfortable when faced with that question. I didn't want to entrust this hobby to Him. I wanted to follow Him, but I also felt that my way was clearly the best way. My way must be His way, right? My will surely is the same as His, right? That surely wasn't a humble, God-honoring attitude. Basically, I was saying, "God, I don't know if I really trust You in this even thought I claim to have faith in You..."

And so, this time around, I'm faced with the same question. In response, I'm trying to hold my love for CW in an open hand. I'm holding it - and enjoying it! At the same time, I'm trying to do so with an open hand - aware of the fact that this, like everything else in my life, is ultimately under the Lordship of Christ Jesus. I've struggled a lot between the extremes of asceticism and art/enjoyment through the years, so I just pray that this will teach me more about how to live a godly life in the midst of this world.

Praise the Lord for CW :)

"In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:6
Tags: cw, holiness, proverbs, psalms, sin
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