Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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s'fatai tiftach...

Why am I so hesitant to pray?

I feel as though I can't find the time and space to pray. When I do have time, I can't settle myself down enough to direct my focus and desire towards prayer. I think it'd be helpful to have a set time of day, but this is hard when I live in a shared house. I want to talk to God, theoretically, but when it comes down to actually beginning, I feel hesitant and mute. I then think about opening my prayerbook, but I feel overwhelmed by its length. I then think about opening my Noachide prayerbook, but by that point I just feel like giving up. What is wrong with me? Lord, open my lips, that my mouth would declare Your praise!

How can I live a life that makes God known?

I'm not a touchy-feely person either in word or in action. I'm also very hesitant to call other people by name, even if they are a close friend. I do this by email, but rarely in speech. In the same way, I don't often mention God by name in conversation. But how can I make God known among the nations if I'm reluctant to mention Him in my conversation?
Tags: anxiety, aspergers, authority, communication, god with us, names, observer, physical, prayer, questions, sensitivity, single, space, struggles in prayer, tradition of faith, voice, worship
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