On the slippery walk to work today, I felt very homesick. Throughout the morning hours as I woke up and drifted back to sleep, I replayed the scene in my head. How I miss him! I have a funny tendency to miss characters from books even though they've never been with me. I started that in 5th grade. I was reflecting on how lovely a scene when I thought, "Lord, it's You that I miss!" I hesitate to think much about His return; and even in this moment my mind rolled off the tangent of the concept like a repelled magnet. Maybe it's because it's such an important thing and I'm afraid that I'll pollute the moment with sloppy thinking. Maybe it's because it's too intimidating. Maybe it's because it's too close to my heart and hurts too much to consider. But how I long for the courts of the Lord... How I've cried through that Psalm 84!
I reached the traffic light at the corner and watched the rain draw patterns in the puddle. It's so hard waiting. I know so many who wait. They wait for family or for packages in the mail or for future plans or for the new creation. Christians live as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing (2 Corinthians 6:10) in a posture of patient waiting. "Receiving the end of your faith..." (1 Peter 1:9) "Though now you do not see Him..." (1 Peter 1:8) "That the genuineness of your faith...may be found to praise, honor, and glory..." (1 Peter 1:7). When will I see Christ? When will I be home in the courts of the Lord? "Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young - even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and my God." Psalm 84:3
"How can I wait for you, Father?"
"I am with you, child."
I looked back at the puddles and saw His fingerprints in the dancing circles. They were beautiful. The traffic light turned and I started across the street with my umbrella. Even though I still have to wait, I don't have to wait alone. I will wait for you and with you, Father.