Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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Chameleon

Morning scribbles in my notebook made while sipping tea, listening to techno, and enjoying the spring fog:

Chameleon - harmonization - structure.

I'm drawn irresistibly to some new research topic or place - a new colorful setting, each unique. And there, I seek to observe and assimilate. It isn't enough to know - I also need to become. My colors shift to match the environment - my accent, my skill set, my clothing, my joys and fears. I blend in, disappear - you'll never see her again! Until she shifts to a new environment.

What makes her move? It's not her choice. It's as if the environment runs out of oxygen for her and can no longer sustain or give that energy which she needs to hold her colors. Some environments are more pleasant and positive than others. But how can she know? She simply is pulled from one to another.

What would it be like to have stability? The squid would stand still. She has these times - perhaps for six months or six years or six minutes. While still, she is racing. Racing to arrange the blocks, the align the elements, to make sense of the place and fit the pieces in order. Racing around to view the scene from every angle, asking more questions, incorporating new information until she knows. And knowing, she soaks it in and settles in and recounts the whole-in-pieces to those who pass by. Even still, she is spinning - a perfectly balanced speeding top. Too steady to be dizzy. And if she slows down, she tumbles tired onto the floor until set back into motion again.

Sometimes, others send me back - journeying among the underwater reefs, the desert mountains, the table tops where she darted, disappeared, and danced. What curious places! And where am I now? What shall I retain and what shall I release? Where shall I go? Whom shall I be?

From November through January, I couldn't get enough of Pokemon - enjoying the creative creatures and laughing with them. Now that spring is on its way, I've caught baseball fever. While I sit at my desk working on reports, in my mind, I'm running around the yard in a baseball uniform with a bat, ready to play ball! Where will I go this year?

God has made a wide world! There, the trees clap their hands and the whales frolic. Thus they sing their praise. There I run, too, singing and ringing the song that He's made me to sing. Make me sing Your praise, Lord, whether I be alight or fallen, whether I be settled or startled. Wherever I am, may I sing Your praise :)
Tags: god, health, interests, life, me, praise
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