Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

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Again?

What a strange turn of events. New and yet...I feel like I've been here before. My boss asked if I'd be ok and I said, "Sure, I've done this before for a whole year!" In a sense, I felt fine; but in another sense, I felt angry. Not again?

I am sincerely happy for him and his family. I'm just also tempted to feel upset at the same time. It's been a jumbled schedule of activities and a jumbled mix of emotions at work this week. I'm being told opposites; and while I've seen both over the years, neither sentiment is comforting. I'm frustrated, thankful, encouraged, discouraged. I'm caught up in the midst and have forgotten to look ahead. I've felt overwhelmed and just want to hide from everyone. If I wasn't feeling ill, I would have snuck off to another Nationals game last night. Cold and Cards would not have kept me away! I've been tempted to feel jealous and abandoned. But God says: "Your way of life should be free from the love of money, and you should be content with what you have. After all, he has said, I will never leave you or abandon you." Hebrews 13:5 He has been with me while others have come and gone. He will never leave me, though the world forsake me. Thank you, Lord.

"Vindicate me, O Lord my God, according to Your righteousness!" Psalm 35:24

For indeed, "My vindicator is close by" Isaiah 50:8.

If there's ever a time to remember that, it's Easter time. When my vindicator died for me and rose to eternal life. Jesus Himself was vindicated when God raised Him from the dead. And He will vindicate me according to His righteousness. Praise the Lord! Our Elder Brother is victorious. And like Him, God's adopted children will achieve victory. "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world." 1 John 5:4

Of course I can feel frustrated, but will I allow that to turn my heart to do evil against my neighbor? I pray that's not the case. There may be a time for mourning and struggle, but the war is not against my neighbor. May I do good all the days of my life and not evil. For God has done good to me.
Tags: anger, hebrews, i john, isaiah, psalms, work
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