We got another four inches of snow last night. We must have over a foot outside now.
I'm ready to write thank you notes, but my head hurts too much to do that just yet. So instead, I posted at the Finch Forum to ask about folks' first experiences with pet finches. Now it's time for some music and mental rest.
I played some Pokemon Sapphire yesterday. I caught a Voltorb and fought some pirates :P Bring it on, Pirate Man! I loved the design of the nautical museum in Slateport City. I will have to visit there again soon.
I found some new greeting cards to order. My supply has been dwindling. I also ran out of stamps...
I finished my leftover clams today :) yum!
The sun is low and golden in the corner of my eye. The snow is still white and blue shaded, though.
You find your way back down / and I'll keep the area clear.
I saw an extremely brief commercial during the Super Bowl last night that showed Jewish people and their tzitzit. Ah, it made me so homesick. I guess homesick isn't the right word. It made me art-sick, missing the beauty of the Jewish people. I dug out my prayerbook, because I had been intending to remember the monthly holiday of Rosh Chodesh (the new moon). I found that section and marked it.
It made me feel artistic again and yet so heart-broken. I miss the Messianic congregation. I miss minchah and Torah study and Shabbat and Jewish art and blessings. I remember how I felt as I went crashing down - unable to attend the weekly services and join the church in Virginia. It felt as if my world collapsed into shadow and tears. When I was in the midst of that culture, I felt like I had found a missing part of my heart - the part that loves God's word and color and world and history. And when I realized that it wouldn't be practical for me to settle there and join that community, I felt like the Psalmist:
"My soul longs, yes, even faints
For the courts of the Lord;
My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
And the swallow a nest for herself,
Where she may lay her young -
Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts,
My King and my God." Psalm 84:2-3
Even the sparrow has found a home...but what about me? The place I really want to be I can't be. I found the shadow of heaven but I can't be there. The swallow has made a nest in the courts of the LORD, but I am left in a foreign city. :( I cried and cried over that Psalm. And it made me want to cry remembering it.
So, I left the prayerbook in my room. And I intended to get out my Chumash, but I haven't yet. Instead I'm charging my laptop and trying to allow myself the time to avoid a headache from working. I feel so overwhelmed and hallow. But it'll pass. I know that my God is preparing a place for me; and in the meantime, my parents have done that for me! The Lord has blessed me with a loving family and a loving boyfriend and time to rest and so many blessings. He's taken me to beautiful places this past year and showed me many amazing things - like pelicans! There's still a lot of art and beauty in the world around me.
that I might see