Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,
Megan
jehoshabeath

Still behind

Still feeling generally overwhelmed. It's become like a constant state of life again. I don't like that.

This week, I had work conferences on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday was a fairly quiet day, but Thursday and Friday as I worked through some projects, I was continually interrupted with other projects, requests, and changes. I'm working through them. I'm glad that I learned some work organization skills in DC - prioritization, planning, scheduling, documenting, etc - because I don't have the spare time to learn those skills now.

Even my interests have been tiring lately. (Unfortunately, sometimes they get that way.) So, when I have a free moment, I think - would I like to read a little more about the safari or another chapter in the birding book, would I like to check on the bird feeder or level up my Pokemon for the Elite Four in Pokemon Black, or would I like to read some Scripture and make some tea or would I like to just sit and do nothing or check the baseball box scores and watch the next NLDS game, or would I like to check my email or check my planner to see what things I need to pick up at the store, or would I like to check on my family and friends to say hello, or would I like to check Facebook or update my photo albums and photo posts on Twitter, or would I like to... And then I feel even more overwhelmed and just want to disappear into a quiet place far away.

So, I'm falling behind and back to less than one day of sick leave. :( I'm taking it a day at a time - I'm just not catching up as fast as I wish I would.

There are lots of good things. Work is going smoothly and I'm making progress on a number of fronts. It's been great to be able to spend so much time with my family, too, and it's been nice catching up with my home church family again. The weather has been beautiful and I love watching for birds and exploring bushes when I heard chirps that I don't recognize. My favorite has been the tufted titmouse - and I even saw one at our feeder yesterday! That's a first :) Having Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts in the area is also a small, but pleasant, thing. New slippers, new curiosities from reading the Gospels, kindness from others - these fill the day with blessings. I've also been enjoying the weekend with my Dad while Mom has been visiting family in another state. We shared pizza last night and then watched Columbo and then Indiana Jones :) It's been great to spend time together!

I'm trying to stay in step with each day, even though I feel like sometimes I'm tripping my way through or getting dragged through it. But I'm still here. I'm hoping that eventually I can get the cart on the other side of the horse and get myself a little more in order. In the meantime, I'm thankful that God doesn't expect me to do everything perfectly, but He's walking alongside and helping me along the way. I hope the path levels out at some point, but in the meantime, I'll just keep grinding along.
Tags: anxiety, executive function, family, health, life, stuff, work
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