Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

  • Music:

Where the days have been

This morning, I wasn't feeling well :( So I stayed home to rest. When I got up, I read some psalms starting at Psalm 51 and reading through Psalm 55. I wrote out some prayers and some verses from them:

"...You do not delight in burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart - these, O God, You will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"Offer to God thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High." Psalm 50:14

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you." Psalm 55:22

Then I organized cards so I can write thank you notes later. I drank some rooibos tea and made a cup of coffee. By then I was pretty tired, so I colored a little in the coloring book that I got for Christmas from my brother and sister-in-law. I also burned the CDs that I got for Christmas.

Now, I'm listening to this remix of "Beautiful Things" by Andain. I've been feeling pushed and knocked around by a giant world of multi-tasking. So many things to keep track of and my memory keeps getting worse at keeping them all in focus. No, my brain just zooms in and forgets to take in the broader view. Sudden snapshots of focus in a world of moving picture. "No one else sees but I got stuck / and soon forever came."

When I'm at work, I'm forced to focus my attention on problems that need to be resolved - where I need to figure out a solution before I can apply it. Not even the testing plans are pre-written. The lack of instructions in this field makes me feel stressed and exhausted. Sometimes I wonder if I really can do it.

"So many beautiful things."

"I forgot that I might see / so many beautiful things."

I started keeping a one page set of notes for each day to see if that will help me keep track of things that happen, need to happen, I hope to happen, and to keep the larger picture of life in perspective. And so I can keep the unseen, eternal in perspective - which is even more important. I'm so glad that this daily struggle isn't all there is.

God reminds me of beauty in the movements of a bird, in the character of a Pokemon, in the kindness of others, in the taste of delicious food. He reminds me that "Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God will shine forth. Our God shall come, and shall not keep silent." Psalm 50:2-3 So I pray, hoshia-na (help, Lord!). Remind me that I will see so many beautiful things.

"For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry." Hebrews 10:37

" the end [the vision] will speak, and it will not lie." Habakkuk 2:3
Tags: beauty, daily, dread, god, habakkuk, hebrews, hill difficulty, hope, misery, music, psalms, scene, work

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