Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

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It's a beautiful, cool morning. The catbirds were singing happily in the trees when I walked in.

I want to be outside, looking for birds and taking their photos. I can't stand sitting here inside waiting for projects to come through while nature bubbles and blooms outside around me. I feel like jumping out of my head! I want to grab my khaki hat, camera, bird guide, a bottle of water, and my coffee, and race off in a cloud of sparkling dust, crouching in the shade of the shrubs, "snap snap snap"-ing photos of the hiding thrushes and wheeling timberdoodles. I want to find one of those illusive northern flickers - I've wanted to capture his photo ever since the day one visited out backyard a year ago and I tracked him halfway around the house before he left. The golden waxwings, silver titmice, funny grackles, elegant kildeer. I want to meet a kookaburra and talk to it - burrrrrraaaa! All this plastic, plaster, and electricity surrounding me is making me wonky. -_-

I want to dance like Valka on the wings of great flying creatures and explore the uncharted world. Skate from town to town and ask them about the creatures that live there. Observe and record each species, collect specimens of feathers and sketch the way the walk, the way they move, the way they beat their wings when they fly. The rowing crows and the flitting swifts. I want to learn their scientific names and feed them their favorite foods. Instead, I have to sit still, straight in the chair, feet on the ground (or at least one foot). No sitting Indian-style, no lounging and absorbing facts or spilling them out in diagrams. Uwa. But here I am. Feeling rather miserable, but at my post nonetheless. How many other people feel this way, too?

Tags: adventure, animals, art, creation, dysphoria, empathetic, misery, observer, student of creation, work

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