Megan (jehoshabeath) wrote,

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Iyaa! Daigaku wa "gaku" dakara!

Today, March 23d, 2004 at about 3:15 in the afternoon in Breidenbaugh Hall, Gettysburg College, Japanese Education & Modernization class:

We were discussing the Japanese college system and how they are so apathetic during those years, as they focus more on socializaion than the academic tests..

Then talked about the goal of US college...

One kid piped up and said:
The reason I am attending a reputable college like this and paying good money for it is to get a well paid job so I can buy whatever I want! That's the prupose of college, I think.

And I wanted to either cry or leap on a desk and point at him and say: Sonna koto jya nai - watashi ni!!!

And that is probably the most naive thing I could actually believe but that is how I feel!! I am paying money to have people guide me to find wisdom and enrich my spirit! Materialism be damned! (Ok, well I like consumption in the form of occassional manga or a tolerable computer but if that is all can find happiness and fullfillment in...then they must be very sad...because consumerism is just an addiction like alcohol - you are happy while you are high on it but when you don't have it you are miserable!!

And that is NOT the kind of happiness I want!!!!
I want a happiness that comes from having sincere joy in living and learning and growing mentally and spiritually!! >.< THAT IS WHY I GO TO COLLEGE AND THAT IS WHY I LIVE!

*Megan gasps for breath after her long rant*
Sorries if I was a bit much but that is a very deep and grating thing for me and I HAD to rant about it!

I love learning and learning to love life for the things which can't be bought^^ It makes me so sad that others do not have that ;_;

On the flip side....
Since I am just lookign for wisdom and education, I am not really focusing on what career I will pursue...that is rather bad. But I wanna learn a little about everything!! Besides, even though a job is important, it is the person behind the job that makes the difference, ne? ...hmm I dunno.

Maybe I am wrong after all

Since this culture doesn't seem to value such things as I do, maybe I will fail in this world. That's the ongoing struggle I face...

In the past few years there has been little to stir up this deeply felt kind of response (mainly it was just the whole issue at high school with my Titanic project and my fight for respect for others - even if they were dead I didn't feel they should be treated like story book characters and I desperately wanted to make an account of the actual people in their honor out of the purest sincerity. My teacher didn't seem to get that. And I hurt her feelings and also "made her worry about me" cause she thought my seriousness was unhealthy. But with some things I refuse to compromise. And my desire to prove my respect as well as my ongoing search for truth and wisdom are just that!)

PS - Added comment: I may be relatively passive most of the time but if the wrong chord is hit my insides resonate! I guess that's why I like Setsuka - she's pretty and calm on the outside but she's got some kinda hidden inner sharpness (thus why she's the female Sakurazukamori^^)
Tags: anger, aspergers, daily, interests, intuition, maturity, motivation, observer, passive, path, study, wisdom, work

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